Only in America #1
In Kroger, checking out the champagne — because fuck yeah, we have some celebrating to do — and a black guys comes around the corner, headed toward the cereal aisle, mumbling “crackers, crackers, crackers,” over and over. You probably had to be there.
I’m in America!
The Dip List
This list represents the culmination of over 6 years of tireless research. It started when I was 17, and first discovering the joys of biscuit dipping. After the initial sense of wonder at the transformative power of tea (or coffee) on a biscuit wore off, I begun to notice certain trends: Rich Teas would often break in half and drown in the mug, Chocolate Digestives left your fingers covered in...
Winning the Break Up
Friday night. Pub’s packed. I’m as drunk as I’ve ever been. I’m a man on a mission, and my mission is basically to get drunk and get laid. My girlfriend had dumped me less than 24 hours ago, and I was out for revenge. Because when you’re 18 years old, whoever has sex first wins the break up. She had the upper hand by breaking up with me, but I was about to fucking...
The Bloody Beetroots - “Butter”
As if spending all day watching The O.C. wasn’t enough, I am now watching The O.C. and eating ice cream. And I swear to god, if it turns out Ryan’s dad doesn’t actually have cancer — even though the estranged parent lying about having a terminal illness to get close to their kid is the most overused teen drama trope ever — I might cry a little. Such a fucking...
Why Smart People Do Stupid Things →
If you answered my brainteaser, you are a potentially smart person that did a stupid thing. (Though autumnillustrated’s answer was a valiant attempt.) Congratulations. Don’t worry, I am too. Here’s your answer: More than 80 per cent of people answer this question incorrectly. If you concluded that the answer cannot be determined, you’re one of them. (So was I.) The correct...
Jack is looking at Anne, but Anne is looking at George. Jack is married but George is not. Is a married person looking at an unmarried person? Yes? No? Cannot be determined? I’ll give the answer and source later.
Joy Orbison - “Hyph Mngo”
My “work” at the moment basically consists of spending an hour or so a day reading articles, and either pressing delete or queue. But I still get that happy feeling when I realise the weekend starts tomorrow and I have an extra hour or so for masturbating or sleeping (probably masturbating). Yeah, weekends!
Not Everyone "Got" It →
In the early days of The Muppet Show, the famous bonhomie between celebrities and their Muppet co-stars wasn’t there yet. MICHAEL ROTTMAN reveals the encounters that didn’t make a rainbow connection. I do love The Morning News.
Joker - “Why Don’t You Like Me? Mix” ...
The XX - “VCR” This is an album I am...
The Grownup’s Guide to Indie Rock →
Surprisingly good reading (coming from a young’un).
Get rid of Tumblarity →
There is a petition to get rid of Tumblarity. Their target is 10,000 signatures. Which is 1/148th of the Tumblr userbase. So, yeah, that’ll get shit done. Just like when I sleep with a woman, once I’m 1/148th of the way in, I consider that job done. She does too. Oh wait, no she doesn’t, because that’s so tiny and ineffectual it might as well have not happened. Tumblarity...
Mr. Babylon →
I have kids that show up once a week, once a month, once a marking period, once a semester, and some not once at all. They’ll show up a week after a test with no excuse and ask if they can make it up. Some of them have legitimate reasons for missing class so often. They are poor and have jobs and can’t make afternoon classes, or they are poor and have night jobs and can’t make...
Pandemic Influenza (H1N1) 2009 in the African... →
Disease arrives in Madagascar. SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.
Apparently it’s not even Wednesday! Jesus christ, I need a job or something.
Fig. 8 →
This is rather wonderful.
Haha, Age Difference!
Me: They're raising the minimum age you have to look to avoid being challenged for ID to 25 here.
Heather: Well, I'd be screwed there.
Me: Dude, you're like 50, you'd be fine.
Heather: Fuck you
marco: My combined contribution to You Look Nice...
Me: I want to smoke, so I need to go downstairs.
Her: Want to see my butt?
???is it possible
My favourite Tuneage submission ever: ???is it possible is it able for me to become a writter??
What do the following blogs have in common? Ricky Van Veen The Wizard The Human Giant That’s right! They all have themes that cost $999, but do not include a home link anywhere. I know the Tumblize thing is old now, and no one with a shred of sense actually hires them — for full price, at least, I know at least a few of their clients were given steep discounts (ouch) — but...
Mistabishi - “Damage” Here is some...
[S]everal staff members have affixed over their work spaces a color photocopy of...– The NYT going to familiarly absurd lengths to avoid saying “fuck” in what is otherwise an excellent article about the making of The Beatles version of Rock Band. Like an editor at a family newspaper indeed!
WHAT A NIGHT OMG
Holy shit guys. Talk about drinking! I drank so much last night that I enjoyed a few drinks without getting irresponsibly drunk, and had a good night with my friends without behaving immaturely or spending too much money. And oh my god, when I woke up this morning. Wow! I felt just… I felt fine! Would definitely drink responsibly again. :)
DUBSTEP FRIDAY →
Your new favourite tumblelog if you like Dubstep.
Dear Whoever Made My Kettle With The Spout That...
Four times. That’s how many times boiling hot steam has burned my hand as I reach for the sugar, or to grab the kettle without noting which direction the spout is pointing. Also, completely metallic body? Are you fucking serious? Hugs and kisses, nostrich xox
Joker - “Digidesign” See, this is...